At first, the "Love or Friendship?" question might sound absurd but in reality most of us often happen to struggle with the solution of this dilemma. And when emotions get involved, it becomes really difficult to have a fair judgment of the situation. Love and friendship go together but when you fancy somebody and you need to choose between love or friendship, the choice is not that easy. (There is a middle ground - friends with benefits - but it has its risks as well.)

You might wonder why separate love from friendship. No, they are not separated. Just remember “How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?” by Michael Bolton. You can't be lovers, if you are not friends. Love is a stage higher than friendship and this is where the problems start.

When you are friends with somebody, you could share everything with them. You could be together all the time, you can have no secrets, you can rely on each other and so on. But still you can have enough time on your own and do whatever pleases you. Also, even the greatest shortcomings of a friend with whom you meet once a week or month are not so difficult to stand, when you don't face them every day.

But when you are lovers, this becomes a bit more difficult to balance. When you live with somebody, you face his or her shortcomings all the time. And eventually a moment comes, when you can't stand this anymore. You see, if you have not been exposed so intensively to the other party's shortcomings you might have had a stable friendship for decades, while when you are lovers, your relationship gets undermined quickly.

As time passes by, these shortcoming become more and more irritating and on a nice day you realize that you can't, shouldn't and won't stand this anymore, so you pack your belongings and leave. After such an abrupt end of a relationship, the question about which would have been better – friends or lovers is simply pointless. If you had not crossed the border between friendship and love, such an abrupt end of your relationship would have have never happened at all. And now, you have lost both a lover and a friend.

While writing this, I recall so many cases when “forcing” love was wrong that I just can't help thinking about the wisdom of the few ones, who chose life-time friendship to a short-lived love affair. Almost all cases of “forced” love ended bitterly and the parties involved did not talk to each other after the end of the relationship.

If you already think that I am against love, I must clarify that it is not so. I value love high and I know pretty well that ideally your lover is your best friend. This is a blissful situation and after I have experienced it, I can tell the difference.

So, what is my advice? If you fancy somebody and he or she feels the same for you, then think if you can be his or her best friend and if he or she can be your best friend, too. If all these conditions are met, it is safe to overstep the line between friendship and love. There is no guarantee that everything will go smoothly but if these conditions are not met, you can bet that troubles will start soon.