Well, even in families who plan their future, it happens that a child arrives not exactly as planned. But much more common are the cases when one of the partners uses children as a way to bind the other partner. Usually it is women who do this but it is not an exception that men do it as well. The assumption is that if the couple is on the verge of breakup, a new child will prevent it from splitting. Yes, you might not separate right away and if this is your aim, you have achieved it but if you want to have a real relationship, not a fake one, this will never happen.

A basic fact is that children can't save a failed relationship. They simply will make it more painful to breakup and will prolong the agony. If the relationship is already dead, the only solution is to separate, which is much easier to do if there are no children to divide. A new child is good for you only when you are desperate to tie somebody but this is not love, this is blackmailing him or her.

The ethical aspects of using children to blackmail your partner are a separate issue. It is very mean and incredibly selfish to do it. You must be a real loser who has no other chance of finding a partner. Probably you are aware of the fact that you are unattractive and you will not find real love and because of this you are desperately clutching on a cheap imitation of love.

Depending on your partner, the blackmailing scheme might work or might not work. Real men and women don't like when such mean tactics are applied to them and it is a safe bet that the child will not be able to tie them to you. As a matter of fact, new children can also trigger separation, if the problems have already become unsolvable.

This is easy to understand. A happy relationship is one that is based on love, not on blackmailing your partner. And if your partner is strong enough and values his or her independence, you can't rely to tie him or her. You can tie only a loser because these are the people who tend to accept behavior like yours.

A real man or a woman will not hesitate to leave you because he or she is perfectly aware that the unhappy relationship is bad for the child as well. Nowadays, when divorce is so common, less people accept that they must be confined in an unhappy marriage when they can be free and raise their children in a better way than the unhealthy atmosphere of a dead relationship.